Stop the hypocrisy!

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If you put your hands over your nose at the stench of corruption,

Don't give a bribe and don't take one,

If you want to see the end of illiteracy,

And communally experience the buoying invigoration of emancipating education,

Send a child to school,

Take another under your wings and teach' em what you know,

If you hate the hunger in the world,

Feed a hungry mouth today,

If you hate the hatred in the world,

Love somebody and give them permission to do the same,

Let joy overflow from your heart to light up a needy, sad and gloomy world,

If you hate the frowning in the world,

Put a smile on a face today,

Wear it as your favorite make up,

If you hate the dirty streets,

Don't litter them yourself,

By the way please pick up that littered paper by your side.

To echo Mahatma be the change you want to see,

Do the things you want to see,

The littlest tiny drops of water still comprise the changing tides of the mightiest seas,

So stop the hypocrisy.

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Say something I am looking everywhere for you!

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Give me a sign I am looking everywhere for you,
I look for signs of you in every face from every race,
I listen for steps of you in every gait from every gate,
Say something I am looking everywhere for you,
When I am tired and weary and can no longer walk,
Somehow I manage to find the strength to crawl,
Been through one too many brawls,
My vision dimmed by the endless search,
I stumble and stagger and fall and remind myself I cannot stop,
Scream something I am looking everywhere for you,
Fun is I am incapable of knowing whether I'll know if I ran into you,
Make some noise I am looking everywhere for you,
An important search mission to rescue us from wait,
I encounter countless distractions of many forms,
Have weathered numerous violent storms,
Say something I am not giving up on you!

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

You are a beguiling charm - I refuse to let thinking cloud my judgment!!

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You are a beguiling charm,
One I cannot resist,
There must be something I have missed,
For I am three quarters agony,
One quarter hope,
Hope couched in a love that evades me,
As I am irresistibly drawn to one I cannot have,
One I cannot keep.

I try to cope as I grope to find my way,
And realize if there is any shred of honesty  in me,
Then I can deny this no more,
For my salvation from these punishing emotions,
Lies in breathing out this age long wish,
Reintroducing you to the heart you colonized,
And captured and then abandoned two score years ago,
In pursuit of distracting adventures which now bring you home,
To where you belong,
What you have been looking for,
This longing heart,
I refuse to let thinking cloud my judgment!

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

One step - the only way to eat an elephant!

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Begins with the first step,
Progresses with the next step,
Ends with the last step,
All you need is one step,
One more step,
Just one,
Only one,
One more,
It is all you need strength for,
All you need energy for,
All you need focus for,
One more,

There is only one way to eat an Elephant,
One bite at a time!

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

The slip that whips and tortures my mind

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Dear Nsohnwi,

Somehow I refused to believe that a day will ever come,

When a FuhNiba triggered amnesia rocks your mind so hard,

Because I screwed up,

Out of human frailty,

Not out of any malicious scheme to harm,

Not out of any Machiavellian concoction to hurt,

But only because I slipped,

Terrible slip but a slip all the same,

Like everyone invariably sometimes does,

Even though you held my hand I still managed to fall,

From my fallen state I heard you call.

Because I screwed up big time,

Fine memories of a beautiful past are suddenly obliterated,

As if they never ever happened or existed,

Leaving a vacuum of time and past experiences,
Work and toil of countless years rubbished thanks to a careless smear,

A whole armor is flung to an age of memory lapses by aching pain,

When mending could make it whole again,

While I am immeasurably sorry and share your pain,

I wish you wouldn’t forget so soon,

I prayed you’ll give second and third and fourth chances a chance,

I am held hostage by the nostalgic sting of everything we shared,

Confused by the memories of everything we dared,

Unable to understand why we cannot try to fix this,

I know you have been hurt, and wounded and devastated,

But I am here to try to make it right again,

This slip that tortures and whips my mind,

I take full responsibility so give me a chance to set us back on course.

Repentantly,

With a love that even this terrible slip could not diminish,

FuhNiba

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Nakedness which announces the break of dawn!

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They part with the monotony of the verdant garb,
And don colors of every hue that paint on the canvass of autumn air,
Streaks of beauty matchlessly picturesque,
Dancing in the celebratory song sang by the gentle autumn breeze,
One last attempt at a joyous gladness,
Before they strip nude,
Baring their whole physiology and anatomy,
In an intelligent act of nature which gives the season its name,
One of the reasons I miss Ames Iowa,
One leaf after the other they fall,
Until a nakedness which announces the break of dawn,
The brief dawn of winter,
Which quickly transforms for many into a long night of cold discontent,
As the animals frantically grow extra layers of fur to cope,
Some go into hibernation until the assault of all the frost bites passes by for that is their only hope,
And mankind change their wardrobes to match the coming times,
For them nakedness is not a viable option.

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Ambivalent Tremors

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Dazed in a stupor of confusion from conflicting feelings which will not settle in any one direction, bipolar and extreme, a sense of right and wrong, angst, relief and pain tugged her from different directions. She picked up her pen and wrote the words:

Dear Ambivalence,

I have prayed for a while now that I will never get to write these words and that even if I ever had to write them, they will not be in a letter addressed to you... but here am I, sitting here, traumatized by guilt, hurt, steeped in pain yet convinced that it is the right thing to do. I have not come to this place easily... ah the agony which has rocked the path... it is amazing how a conviction of right can feel so wrong. I have given this careful thought, wrestled with every word, rationalized every feeling, debated every justification, and I have come to the unavoidable conclusion that for your good and mine, we stand at a junction in our relationship which offers us the gift of a forked path that we must separately take or forever be miserable on a single path to life imprisonment plus hard labor.

You have no opinions, say neither yes nor no, you quibble, have no positions on issues, and are constantly shirking the tough questions. I have struggled to find your identity and while you come forth as a sweet human being with no objections and a flow designed to shadow me, I have often felt like I was spending time with myself. I feel like I interact with a clone of me, a robotic prototype of my mind. Your detachment from taking a stance voids your personality and denies me the chance of getting to know the real you. When the rubber meets the road, I want to minimize as much as humanly possible the embarrassment of meeting you for the first time after I say I do and then life happens and you finally show up.

For our good, for your good and mine, for the sake of a future we still have a chance to salvage before it is wrecked by blind loyalty to a commitment entered in error and without the benefit of reason which happened to be drowned in the pleasantries of sweet emotions at the time, I ask you to understand and join me in moving on, on separate paths. I have your back... always... thank you for everything we shared, everything we learned.

Wishing you everything good you can become and with one last kiss, albeit virtual, I seal this note. 

Tremor.

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary