Please let it be me!

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Been waiting years for the opportunity to apprise,

This may come to your as a surprise,

I have been secretly hoping somehow you will surmise,

Looking into your eyes I feel shy and want to disguise and revise,

I know this may be unwise but I am not keen to be wise,

I just want to be able to rise above the sweet smiling lies,

Which give you no hint of the hidden cries,

I have chickened out after numerous many past tries,

Today I must stop falling from those lofty dreamy skies,

I have time tested that I love you only,

Been dying for a day when I tell you to please let it be me,

Life filled with all the sweetness of the world without you will still be lonely,

I can no longer let that feeling be my friend so please let it be me,

I will make all the necessary sacrifices,

God helping me embrace you with all your vices,

Bring to our love many countless spices,

Tell me all the different prices,

Please let it be me,

If someone eternally holds your hand down the paths called life,

If you ever say yes to somebody who asks you to be his wife,

Please let it be me,

If you ever need somebody to help you bear the sadness,

Help you find and light the glow of gladness,

Please let it be me,

If you ever prayed for someone who can be equally wise and silly around you,

Someone who lives a life with company that richly abounds in you,

Please it be me,

Each time I see you,

Each time you hold my hand and make my heart feel you,

Each time you open your arms and bless someone in the circle of your magical embrace,

Each time you pray and tie someone’s purpose to yours with prayer like a lace,

Somebody to step with into every new tomorrow with,

Please let it be me,

I beg you tell me that you will always... always... always…

Let it be me.

Treviso © December 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Venice - city of love, water boats, water taxis and water everything!

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Venice the land of canals, water buses and water boats. I have heard it called the city of love... what is there not to love about Venice. I have no doubt why the literary master Shakespeare found it fascinating enough to catch his attention and summon his creative genius to pen "Merchant of Venice".

Remnants of the Brussels public transport strike actions from yesterday spilled over into today as the transportation system stammered and stuttered back to normal activity. I looked at the departure board and minute after minute of delay time piled on the supposed arrival time for the train which brought me to the airport until it was 16 good minutes of delay, stealing from my carefully planned check in. This is when I pay the price for not leaving enough buffer in time allowance to accommodate delays of this nature. When I finally get to the airport I try to check in and the check in machines cannot find my details and request that I proceed to the check in desk. Two big families with much luggage beat me to the line. At the desk two Brussels Airlines agents were working from the same computer, one apparently teaching the other, doubling or even tripling time spent with each customer. I grew impatient as the seconds ticked into minutes, inching ever closer to my flight departure time. Realizing one of the agents was being trained, an inner voice showed up from no where to whisper in my ears the reality of all those days when I am learning too - be patient Afeseh. I wrestled with my patience, trying to find a justification to let it reign in vain. As if to add salt and insult on to injury, when I finally make it to the desk, I am told that my flight has been closed. I knew I had to be calm and charming and engaging and persuasive to get an acceptable solution to the dilemma - summon the best diplomacy I know. Misdirected anger will not cut it, I need results. I explain to them that if their machines had worked as they should, I should be on the plane already. As they explored what went wrong, a minute later I was told with a big fat smile on the agent's face that I could print my ticket because I had apparently checked in already even though the  machine claimed it could not find my details. They printed my ticket and I rushed to security control, making it just in time for my flight which had been delayed - Even though flights get delayed all the time, I say God did it to accommodate me and shame my prayerlessness. I delude myself to be in full control but I am not, HE is. 

The plane sped through the run way and zoomed into the skies nose up until it balanced as it lifts itself by the sheer force of its engines and the architectural and engineering brilliance which assures its balance in the skies. It was not very long before we entered turbulent space, bump after bump after  bump like the legendary Kumba-Mamfe road from the days of my youth in my beloved Cameroon. A beautiful Italian young lady sat by me and we favored each other with genuine smiles through the flight. She offered me a piece of a bar of chocolate she ate, an offer which I couldn't refuse and accepted because I didn't want to rob her of that powerful reward of giving which only the genuine giver knows. I am glad we had that exchange for it further sealed the bonds of brief friendship which will allow us interact in the next few hours. As we approached Venice a window view revealed a breath taking roll of undulating mountains, all ice capped, stretched below the vast canopy of boundless skies. I remembered the scripture from Isaiah 40:22 "...He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in." What a God! Glory! Glory! Glory! Then after the mountains came our initial descent into flat Venice.

As we got out of the place my new friend and I engaged in a conversation which further introduced us to each other, shaking hands somewhere along the line and telling our names. My Italian is very weak or even functionally non existent so she helped me get directions to my hotel. I bought my bus tickets and we did the first leg of my way to the hotel together. I had the option of going with a water bus directly to the hotel but I opted to do the trip in two installments and go the first leg with her as she also needed to catch the train to her final destination. I had time on my hands so why not. On the bus ride she shared tips on how to get by in Venice and a few dos and don'ts based on her own experiences from visiting the town which I have found to be very useful. When time came to separate, she needing to take the train and I continue on the water bus to my hotel, we said our byes and parted ways.  It was a heart warming introduction into Venice, favored by priceless reminders that genuine heartfelt human interactions still carry within them seeds of the finest moments we could ever know. Similarly, about three weeks ago, a few moments after I entered the city of Copenhagen, a quite elderly man walked up to me, put his arms around my shoulders and we talked like I have known him from the time I was born. His English was broken but his heart was not. 

I still had some time before I could check into my hotel so I walked around in observation to while the hour away, waiting for the water bus. As a writer I am a big observer - I relished the moment of keen observation which unlocked the parachute of my imagination and mind. Looking around brought me memories of my younger self travelling through some of the hinterlands of Cameroon. Coming from the grasslands of Cameroon, unaccustomed to such bodies of water, I was once again fascinated as I have always been when I visit land locked islands... fascinated by the incredible creative and adaptive genius of the human being and spirit in the face of adversity... The people of Venice, surrounded by water in every corner refuse to give up in the face of the challenges of living under such conditions and embrace the water like a drowning man will do a life jacket. They leverage every potential benefit the water brings and the fabric of Venitian life is wired and woven around the water, canals, water taxis, water buses, water hearses, water cop patrols, water ambulances, water mail delivery and everything water. I am very fascinated with all the engineering that has gone into building houses and structures which endure and withstand such constant close interactions with water. 

When I stepped out and walked to my hotel I received another lesson in 'les apparences sont trompeuses' meaning you cannot judge the book by the cover. I could not find my hotel because it looked nothing like what the pictures showed on the internet but once I walked into the room, the contrast with outward appearance became unmistakably clear and it is worth it all. Walking the corridors of Venice I am reminded of one of the reasons why I like Europe - the deep and profoundly preserved sense of history so palpable you can cut it with a knife. Maybe during my many walks today I took steps once taken by Shakespeare's merchant of Venice. The discovery is on! It was indeed a day of adventure, reminders, lessons, fascination and a day in Venice. 

Venice © December 2014 afesehngwaHilary

True measure of our giving!

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Giving is still measured in units of sacrifice,
Giving without sacrifice will not suffice,
One difference with the love of mice,
Is that man's love is gauged by giving sacrifice,
It is not just about feeling nice,
Be warm enough to melt the ice,
Be ready to pay the price,
It may be just about giving a hungry person rice,
It is not necessarily as easy as throwing a lottery dice,
Shake off the paralyzing 'love for comfort' vice,
You might need to do the shaking twice,
For others it might need a painful thrice,
For some more than thrice to be precise,
Love for comfort can be parasitic like lice,
I know how comfort can entice,
It can be greed's evil device,
By all means do not shun sacrifice,
It is still love's running currency,
Today's most powerful agency,
Giving sacrifice,
Loving sacrifice,
Sacrificial love

Brussels © December 2014 afesehngwaHilary

The treasures in the dark place

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Like the gold and oil and precious stones,
Hidden in the pitch dark bowels of the earth,
Unspeakable treasures hide buried in the dark place,
Yes, that darkest place of your life which dwarfs the light,
And ushers in an apparent perpetual night,
Don't just sit there wallowing in tears,
Throwing a pity party and beckoning an endless whine,
Don't you just seek to drown your reality in wine,
Even if you must cry as we all sometimes do,
Pick up the spades and pick axe,
Tie the flashlight of hardworking wisdom to your forehead,
Prayerfully start digging to bring light to the preciousness,
Lying in wait to be discovered by those who dig,

And with every spade of dirt you throw,
You bring the treasure closer than you know,
Believe you me there is an unseen, undiscovered treasure in that dark place,
Which will blow your mind away,
Make you better not bitter,
Quit looking in the lit space,
You will not find it in the light,
So don't you dare run away,
Before you find that precious stone,
Otherwise the loss is yours to bear.

Brussels © December 2014 afesehngwaHilary

How much longer will you wear that bad make up?

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How much longer,
Will you wear that frown on your face,
Like some terribly bad make up,
How much longer will you groan and moan,
Mope because you grope,
Yet deny the light,
How much longer,
Will you give him/her the power,
To dictate and take away your peace,
How much longer will you nurse that sting of loss,
How much longer will you wallow in debilitating regrets,
When fresh opportunities beckon in the horizon,
How much longer will you whine about the problems,
When the solutions beckon within a tireless effort's reach,
How much longer?
How much longer?
How much longer?

Brussels © December 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Full value of the crumbs!

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Experience of the pitch dark night,
Lends value and brings great delight,
Delight at the slightest ray of light,
Even though the difference is only very slight,

To know the full value of a crumb of bread,
One must know hunger's deepest pang and dread,
To experience joy unspeakable,
The prerequisite is sadness despicable,

To have fully known the best appreciation,
One must have known the worst depreciation,
It is on the rung of the worst failed test,
That one must step to fully know the best,

When life maroons and isolation has rocked your world,
Even very casual companionship can mean the world,
When hate has perpetually been your food,
Suddenly a tiny fraction of love becomes extra very good,

If you have known war's raucous siren,
A modern city's deafening din can be serene,
If a cage has been your haven,
A chance to fly with broken wings becomes heaven,

When all you ever knew is despair,
Dim hope ensures a welcome repair,
Even though  Worst might be its name,
It can be prep for life's best game.

Brussels © December 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Your Stretch Marks

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Stop covering the same distance to and fro,
You will never know how far you can go,
How deep you can reach,

How much you have to teach,
How much you can dare,
How much you can care,

How much you can love,

Never discover you can be gentler than a dove,
Until you dare to stretch a little more every time,

Never underestimating what is your prime,
And even though it might come with a costly price tag of pain,

The proverbial prelude to sustainable gain,
Everybody and anybody can pay that price,

Sometimes you need to try a triple thrice,
It is mostly only a matter of choice,

To give your fullest capacity voice,

Show me your stretch marks,
and I will show you exactly by how much you have grown!

Brussels © December 2014 afesehngwaHilary