2010

2010

Grand portal into the second decade,
Exit from the first,
Of the twenty first century,
As time morphs into eternity,
Like a phoenix,
2009 mocks death,
Morphing into 2010,
In a slow and concrete passing of time.

The storms of this moribund year,
Brace me for the challenges of the coming one,
The mightiest falls give meaning to the smallest rise,
Those moments lived at the fringes of high risk,
The memories of those enduring seconds one yard from peril,
Spice and sweeten the joys of victories big and small,
In this new year,
May defeat be as good a stepping stone as victory,
Treat both impostors just the same,
May we be boldly daring,
Enjoy the adventure,
Despise the pain,
Learn the lessons,
Leave the past behind,
The hurt and the pain,
The regrets and ifs,
Be determined to savor every second,
Making it count,

And this new year,
May we give give give a little more,
A little more of ourselves every time,
That is the surest way to be a little better,
Reach out to the promise of 2010,
Every next second a brighter beacon beckons,
Even when raging dark clouds invade the sky,
May this be your best year yet,
Thank your 2009,
Big warm embrace 2010,
Let the exciting adventure begin,
Or go onnnnnn...
Happy New Year...

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

Christmas - reason or treason!

Christmas - reason or treason!

True they say Christ is the reason,
Reason for the season,
Saying doesn't make it so,
For many treason is the reason,
Treason in Christ's kingdom,
It is a time for sharing,
Not one to be lost in materialism,
It is a time for caring,
It is a time for loving,
A time when we remember how the creator,
Became the created,
A time to celebrate the greatest gift of all,
Christ the King,
Who came like a babe in a manger,
Not swathed in gold,
Not attended by servants,
The humblest King of all,
A fulfillment of prophecy,
Some of the first steps,
Towards the redemption of wretched man,
A drama acted from the blueprint of the Master,
First scenes on a stage fit for calves,
His humility took away nothing from his greatness,
His birth in a manger failed to diminish his omnipotence,
His omniscience,
His omnipresence,
His humanity did not affect His deity,
Now this is personal,
He is my King :-)

© 2009 Afeseh ngwa hilary.

Cold sunrise

This morning I saw the sun rise in glorious majesty,
cutting through a thick blanket of cold air,
like a new pair of scissors...
I saw its shine of golden rays,
ricochet off a spotlessly white carpet of snow,
spewed from the bowels of the skies some days before...
an almost blinding flash of glory...
art at its best by nature itself...
I am in awe of you Lord...
You strum a beautiful melody with my heart strings,
You put a praise on my lips.

© 2009 afeseh ngwa hilary

The Opium of confusion.

The Opium of confusion.

Arrrh the opium,
of a high dose of confusion,
married to an even higher dose of shock,
given by reality in a single dose,
enough to send him running to the yard,
dazed and confused in his under pants,
he jumped out of bed to meet her cries,
One moment she had life,
the next moment she lay lifeless,
cold like an ice block,
and nothing could change it,
his beloved daughter now gone,
banished by death from the surface of the earth,
and his only working therapy,
the incomprehensible belief,
that in another world,
a meeting to part no more will come.

© 2009 afeseh ngwa hilary

Dropped in the closet!

Dropped in the closet!

The pillows drenched in tears,
Helpless expression of your loneliness,
Bears testament of your strength at the airport,
Now that the strength mask is dropped in the closet.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

No limit to better

No limit to better!

I love better,
Better than best,
It takes away the pressure,
Of being the best,
So that like a laser beam,
I can just focus on being better,
Better than the me of one second ago,
And there is no limit to being better,
An endless opportunity to improve,
Best in a vague way sets a limit in the mind,
Best can mistakenly tell a lie that it is the end,
For me there is no end,
And better is best!

by Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

Get Tested.

World AIDS Day - Dec 1st 2009

Get Tested.

True the HIV AIDS diagnosis might be very grim,
But delay makes chances of survival very slim,
Don't wait until you are very trim,
Meanwhile put a tourniquet on your every whim,

Walk away from the cowardly culture,
Invest in your future,
Get tested,
Get fear busted,

You might test positive,
But you get a chance to stay mentally positive,
Get the right affordable therapy,
By all standards it is better than chemotherapy,

You might test negative,
Make efforts to never test positive,
Abstain but you if you can't, use a condom,
Be faithful and don't sleep around at random,

Don't be an unbeliever,
You'll regret you were not a believer,
HIV AIDS is real,
Its schemes surreal,

Don't be inert,
Better be alert,
Especially if you are a youngster,
AIDS can be a monster,

Don't embrace the madness peddled around,
It's like fitting a square peg in a hole which is round,
*Sleeping with a virgin is not a cure,
So leave the virgins pure,

Stigma is not an answer,
Love is the answer,
Together lets push back the frontiers of HIV AIDS,
Quicken the coming of the day when only history will tell of HIV AIDS.

* It is erroneously and atrociously believed in some places that people get cured when they sleep with young virgins.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

I still remember

I still remember!

I still remember like it was yesterday,
There was no warning call,
I can still see her breathe her last,
A last breath which marked the transition,
To a world beyond,
Beyond the flesh,
Beyond the understanding of those left behind,
And now the death of any person,
Triggers a journey down memory lane,
To a shelf which has refused to gather dust,
A shelf which has gathered no dust over the years,
I can see the fragile thread,
Which held her to an even more fragile life,
I can see that thread snap in a moment,
While a brutal reality is ushered in on this side,
Lum was ushered into a mystery eternity on the other side,
I can still see her body change homes,
From her room to a fridge,
I can still feel that is a place too cold for any person to be,
And then from the fridge,
Her body of clay is reunited with mother earth,
Her body might rot,
And become food for flora,
Her soul might be gone,
But she forever lives in my heart,
In a treasure trove of memories,
Where I frequently visit to meet with her again,
I still remember like it was yesterday!

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

Unreachable

Unreachable.

Unreachable is one word Lord,
Which cannot exist in the same sentence with you,
There is no depth so deep,
That your unfathomable grace will not find me,
There is no wandering so far,
That your priceless ever searching love will not find me,
There is no state of filth so crass,
That your invaluable blood cannot wash me clean as snow,
There is not a lack of strength so acute,
That your smallest strength will not strengthen me,
There is no burden of weariness so heavy,
That your yoke will not lighten and relieve me,
There is no darkness in my soul so pitch dark,
That your word cannot light it with the brightness of ten thousand suns,
Keep my eyes on you Lord Jesus,
Lead my search for the answers to you.

Your son,
© 2009 afeseh ngwa hilary

God's preacher or Devil's teacher.

God's preacher or Devil's teacher.

With your lips you are God's preacher,
With your life the devil's teacher,
Preach one thing and do another,
Say you love and in the same breath stab another,
Saint in your speech,
Even as your spiritual life's come to a screeching halt.
In stead of merely becoming sentimental,
Become instrumental.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

Dang!!!!!!!

Dang!!!
Sleep claimed its debt with a pound of flesh,
my phone rings and there am I,
still in bed,
I look at my watch,
the lab group meeting is supposed to have just started,
I should have been there early,
to finish my lab report,
and set the room up for the meeting.
Arrrrh what prep for prelim can do to sleep cycles,
My yesterday never slept,
Yet today doesn't take that into account,
Nature has a way of exacting its dues.

*prelim - PhD candidacy exam.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

Titles

Titles.

When titles live,
so that people might die,
as people relate to the titles,
while persons choke in solitude and isolation.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary...

From God

From God...

I can give you wings,
But I can't fly for you,
Give your an appetite,
And provide the food,
But can't eat for you,
Give you opportunity,
But you have to reach out for it,
Make grace and strength available,
But you have to tap into it,
Offer you love,
But you must accept it,
Give you life,
But you must live it,
Give you a vision,
But you must heed it,
Take you to the stream,
But you must drink,
Or else you live in all you ever need,
Yet direly be in want and need,
And that my child,
Is the greatest tragedy of our time.

© 2009 afeseh ngwa hilary

On the treadmill of time!

On the treadmill of time!

To be on the treadmill,
The treadmill of time,
Whose wheels never stop turning,
No one can hold the feet of time,
So to successfully be on this journey,
We have to keep going,
Rest but keep going,
Tired but keep going,
Doubting but keep going,
Waiting but keep going,
Failing but keep going,
Falling but get up and keep going,
Righting the wrongs but keep going,
Discouraged but keep going,
Having fun but keep going,
Hating it but keep going,
Trusting God but keep going,
Keep going until earthly breath expires,
And we move to another treadmill,
Eternity's!

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

Sudden rain

Sudden rain.

...then the skies changed without warning,
From blue,
To gray and then to black.
Blinding flashes of lightening,
Preceded earsplitting thunder claps,
And in one of nature's very tearful lamentations,
Suddenly a wall of rain came surging towards us.

© 2009 afeseh ngwa hilary.

The Truth

Truth.

We live in a world where almost everything is relative,
But the truth and the slightest lie can never be relatives,
Truth must be absolute,
Its custodians resolute,

The truth that I type these words cannot be relative,
It cannot be superlative,
Any other thing is a lie,
Fast lane on a path to die,

Truth is a fact,
Can be said with tact,
But you cannot economize the truth,
No more like Mary can be the Biblical Ruth,

So lets go to a truthful time,
Take away the slime,
Let truth be truth,
Like Ruth is Ruth.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

Dear friend!

Dear Friend

It seems we were ordained,
Scarcely have we known disdain,
I do not know how it came to be,
I wonder how you came to me,
From the time I saw your face,
I was sure nature had set the pace,
And the ingredient was a trust in fate,
This was not the issue of a date,
I cannot tell how it came to start,
But I don’t think we were made to part,
We’re a story nature’s bound to tell,
Our friendship rings like a bell,
We live by example,
Our dose of love ample.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

The race I run

The race I run


Drunk with fatigue,
Yawning with intrigue,
Eyes on the prize,
Trying to pay the price,

Running the race,
Even as I brace,
Embrace the thought to quit,
To kill it every bit,

Determined to succeed,
In every fall see a seed,
Which only effort will nourish,
And struggle to banish,

Every fear and doubt,
As I face life's every bout,
Wounded with bruises,
But still making the cruises,

To experience the mountaintop,
One must drink a bitter cup,
Know lonely moments,
Meet acerbic comments,

A steep climb endure,
Every strength conjure,
May shed a tear,
But still choking a fear,

Yet focused like a laser beam,
Tending the flame for steam,
Keeping the path lit,
Love my first aid kit,

Until the coming of the end,
May be at a bend,
May rest a while,
Not a room for wile,

For the race I want to run,
Should be the race we run,
So every second I better be,
A better me.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

I hate mistakes

I hate mistakes.

I hate mistakes but I make them,
I refuse to fear them,
I decide to use them,
As rungs on the ladder to the top.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

Cry of the unborn.

Cry of the unborn.

I speak to you mama,
Spare me all the drama,
The time for choice is past,
Consequences of now will last,

I am a life and alive,
So even when papa connives,
Give me a shot to live,
Grant me no premature leave,

I want the chance you had,
The choice might be very hard,
I have a right to be born,
Don't allow me be torn,

I might be inside of you,
But I do not belong to you,
I have a life of my own,
God gives you custody as a loan,

You can't do with me as you will,
Abortion is akin to kill,
Death panel by another name,
Even if I am handicap and maimed,

I might hold the key to a better future,
Have ability to rewrite the present culture,
Don't kill me,
We belong together.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

Priority

Priority...

Let the maker teach you who you are,
Let a woman's priority be to be a woman,
Not a doctor, nurse, clerk, astronaut or career,
Let a man's priority be to be a man,
Not a soldier, an engineer, professor or career,
Let a man marry a woman,
Let an engineer not marry a doctor,
Families thrive when made of people,
And crumble when made of professions,
Society is rotting because families are failing,
Families are failing because parents have prioritized,
Prioritized making money to nourish their hollow lifestyles.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

A sweeter song

A sweeter song

There is always a sweeter song,
It hates the place of stagnation,
Comes on the wings of adventure,
Played with the instrument called daring,

If you cling to your past,
Settle in your present,
You cannot hear this song,

If you choose to be backward,
Over being always forward,
You cannot play this song,

If you hate a brother,
Despise a sister,
You cannot see this song,

If you love ease,
Court only comfort,
You will not meet this song,

It is played by love,
Sang by sacrifice,
Conducted by compassion,
Driven by passion,
On the tracks of hardwork,

You may stop to smell the roses,
But you must prayerfully keep going,
If you must partake in the concert,
Where there is only a sweeter song,
Always a sweeter song.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

Compromise

Compromise.

Watch out for the first compromise,
It may be the first step to demise,
Drunk starts with the first drink,
As others follow in a close link,

Drug addict starts with the first dose,
Very soon you need a needle like a hose,
All adulteries have a first look,
Fuel for what mischief's/sin's about to cook,

Corruption may start with the first bribe,
Tribalism with one tribe,
So nip it in the bud,
Before a flower blooms from the bud,

A mighty fall proceeds from an unchecked slip,
The fatal compromise grows and flies,
On the wings of accumulated little compromises...

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary

The Mind

The Mind

The magic of the mind,
The endearing charm of the imagination,
The highest skies a man can fly,
The figment of the imagination,
Boundless and limitless,
Home to the ancestors,
Ancestors of every action,
Forbears of every tomorrow,


Need no flight to go there,
Not a distant country,
Great escape from now,
Can meet and experience the future,
Catch a glimpse of heaven or hell,
Each one at a time,
Detach from reality,
Delude oneself in the opium of folly,
Until cruel reality strikes again.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

Low aim

Low aim.

The sin is low aim,
The mind boggling readiness to resign to our fate,
Lack of an adequate sense of sacrifice,
Rush to blame others,
Refusal to take responsibility,
Love of the easy road,
Rabid selfishness,
Chronic myopic management,
Drive with no backbone,
Quick to surrender in the face of obstacles,
A paralyzing complacence,
In case you wondered that is the reason,
Reason why africa is pregnant yet barren,
She is in dire need,
Yes in dire need of a revolutionary visionary,
Many of them for that matter.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

Difficulty

Difficulty!

We cannot drop the standard,
Resign to be a drunkard,
Because standards are difficult to attain,
Or a goal hard to retain,

We cannot settle for mess,
Stoop to reach for less,
When we can be the best,
And fully ride the crest,

May not achieve in an instant,
But never drop the standard,
May crawl like an infant,
But never drop the standard,

Never tire to try,
Giving up is an easy way to cry,
Even though your feet may wobble,
Make your effort double,

With enough practice you will soon walk,
Which is always better than talk,
Triple effort will make you run,
Before you know you won,

But you can't drop the standard,
Refuse to settle for any substandard,
Every difficulty holds a promise,
Indefatigable hard work the only premise,

To uphold and claim even the super standard,
Always strive for a better standard,
Don't mock your potential,
Make it providential,

Don't insult your capability,
Reclaim your life from probability,
And steer it towards better certainty,
With a prayerful hard work which suffocates uncertainty.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.

I doubly belong to Him.

I doubly belong to Him.

This blog post is in response to a response to one of my facebook status messages.

My facebook status message on 08/13/09 which captures the message on my heart that morning reads:
"He made me, after Adam I strayed, He bought me with the down payment of His life, being the priest, the altar and the sacrifice of that ransom for my guilt... I belong to Him doubly... I have nothing, nothing good... all I have is His... I am only a ...custodian under His tutelage... I own nothing... thank you Jesus!"
In response a friend sent me this note!

"Dear Hilary, “Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk. Martin Luther King walked so Obama could run. Obama is running so we all can fly.” Jay-Z

Wars have been fought to eliminate slavery and all forms of oppression. Slavery till date remains the most indellible stain on the conscience of America. Africans unshackled themselves from the ... Read Morebondage of colonialism and REgained their independence. The storming of the Bastille in France is celebrated as the day of liberation for of the oppressed-- Victory of the Commoner over the Aristocrats. I can go on.

Here you are; born and raised a freeman, but affirming a love for the shackled life. You were not bought. No one kidnapped you. You committed no crime. You belong IN a community of family & friends. Don't wish evil on yourself. You have EVERYTHING for which you worked hard to achieve. You're young, educated and living in a freeworld. Celebrate THAT. Don't follow fairy tales which can never been proven. Free your mind."


I wobbled and floundered in my mind, unsure how to do justice in response to a mind so brilliant, about issues which even the most brilliant minds unaided cannot fully grasp and comprehend.

Martin Luther King whom you mention in your first quote was minister in Chief of what you call unproven fairy tales... Where has that walk in the land of supposed fairy tales taken the world to today?... I have followed some of your writings and am familiar with your adulation of Barack Obama who also has in no uncertain terms made clear his following for the same.

I refer not pointedly to the kind of slavery which moved people from place to place against their will and forced them to servitude, neither do I refer pointedly to the kind of colonization which you mention in your note. I highlight a slavery of sometimes subtler forms which does not necessarily involve physical movement or service of fellow man but that which has from the beginning of time trapped many in the vice-like grip of spirits and principalities and powers, sin, foolish rabid unbridled passions and insatiable appetites. I refer to a kind of colonialism which human eyes do not readily see which subjugates a people to the King of evil himself, the devil.

I was neither born free nor raised free, and even Jean Jacques Rousseau's 'Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains' is a half truth for me because I was conceived in iniquity, born chained and raised bound to sin - I believe that is true for every person whether they realize it or not, until the great liberator, Christ Jesus sets free. By this acknowledgment I am not acknowledging a love for shackles but embracing a liberating acceptance of a fact as true as the sun rises in the East and sets in the West. If a patient does not realize and accept his/her disease he/she will never go to a doctor. It is in fact in this realization and acceptance that my liberation is born. If a person takes a look at a tree fully clad in the garb of spring and says that tree is naked, the problem is not with the tree, but with the person. If a person is born in extended dark periods of the polar icecaps and because he fails to see the sun rise day after day after day, concludes that the sun does not exist, that doesn't make it true.

Oh yes my crime is sin, I strayed to the decoy of the evil one and he kidnapped and used me and only Jesus could pay the ransom which set me free, He paid with His life, after creating me, He bought me and no person in the world could have redeemed me. I doubly belong to Him.

I am young with a little education maybe but I am NOT living in a free world... it is a crazy chaotic world to say the very least... On one of my facebook status messages I wrote "Antagonizing as it sounds, there must be such a thing as the boundaries of freedom or else it accelerates mankind on a downward spiral of self destruction...without the apparent antagonizing boundaries of freedom, it(freedom) becomes agonizing...without boundaries the free world becomes a recipe for mindless chaos. Only God knows enough about the unseen and futurities to literally exercise freedom in the totality of the word."

I do not have everything which I have worked hard to achieve - that is a devastating fallacy... there are kids who begin to work harder than I will ever dream of working from their womb and never get the things I get... there are geniuses roaming streets and living in holes who will never get the chances I have... there were thousands conceived on that same moment with me who have slipped into eternity by no fault of theirs and I am still alive by no merit of mine... I have had experiences which many my age will never come close to and it is not because I am better... Everything worth the while in me I have received from the hands of an Almighty God, gratis.

To cap my response, some of the finest minds and thinkers of the world have followed the same fairy tales to borrow your words, which you claim can never been proven and there could have hardly been freer minds than these Christian minds: In literature, John Donne, T. S. Eliot, George Herbert, John Milton, Samuel Johnson, C.S. Lewis, G. K. Chesterton, and Dorothy Sayers; in music Johann Sebastian Bach and Georg Friederich Handel; in the arts some of the finest world art is housed in the legendary cathedrals of Europe, gloriously beautiful stained glass windows, colorful altars , produced by Christian artists and Rembrandt van Rijn and Albrect Durer represent some during the renaissance and reformation; in politics - the founding fathers of the great USA; in philosophy - Anselm of Canterbury, Saint Augustine, Duns Scotus, Thomas Aquinas, William of Ockham; in Science Isaac Newton, Johann Kepler, Robert Boyle, Lord Kelvin, Louis Pasteur, Michael Faraday, Clerk Maxwell, Blaise Pascal, amongst others...

The fairy tale you say is unproven has been proven more times than I can keep track of in my life, He gives me all I ever need(not want) and He is so real to me, to call Him a fairy tale is preposterous and to say the very least laughable. I never once found Him to be a liar. My freedom in Christ has given my mind fleet wings and more freedom than I bargained for. I may disagree with you but in the spirit of the sages who have gone before me, I will defend your right to your opinion to the grave. Before all things I am a believer, not an understander if there is a word like that - Saint Paul tells me that "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." - I believe. We can still agree to disagree my friend. No offense was taken and none is intended.

The lesson from the sperm and heroes.

The lesson from the sperm and heroes.

The analogy with the sperm captures in a poignantly lucid way the main contention of this treatise that all men are created equal. As a believer in Christ Jesus, I need no proof to believe that but even when I distant myself from my Christian beliefs I have no hard time finding more examples than I can possibly enumerate here to buttress the claim. What makes this particularly attractive to me is that it has to do with the concept(ion) of life. The sperm, whether it came from a white, black, brown, or green man is the same color and never stops in its tracks to contemplate whether the egg it might encounter is black, white, brown or green; neither does the egg pause to contemplate the trivialities of race and color to validate reception. What a lesson! How would our world be if we all did the same, if we saw in each other, human beings, with a view which is not distorted by the convex and concave lenses of race, color, social status, etc.

Reason with me. If we were to strip everybody of every bit of the deceptive layer of skin we would see the same man and woman, the same color of the blood, flesh, bones, skull, organs and you name it. It strikes me that even the biggest racist in the world, on a dying bed with their life hanging on the balance and a blood transfusion being the only thing which can tip the balance back to life, does not have time to question what color the donor of the life he/she is about to receive in blood was/is - the same is true with one in need of an organ transplant to live. Tell me the reason why a person of one colour can give life to one of another.

It also strikes me that even when some were sweltering in the cauldron of slavery, masters who considered their slaves on some strata much lower than them, driven by a foolish passion which shamefully reminds us of our equality, abandon the matrimonial beds to sleep with maidens of the lower race, even on the hay of the fields where the latter toiled and sweated their blood. In some cases human beings where the product of this hypocrisy, babies tied by blood to those conceived on the matrimonial beds, babies who brutally reminded a willingly blind and forgetful world that in deed, we are all created equal, different in our ways, yet equal.

Totally cognizant of the fact that color does not make heroes but content of character does, I argue that it can in fact and has been destructive to strings of generations of young people, for them to grow up without seeing role models and heroes who look like them and rose from the similar depths from which they rise. While I dream and pray of a world where the color of heroes will not hold the dual potential to alienate or quicken the coming of the reality of a dream depending on the color of the eyes from which the gaze arises, I am convinced beyond a shadow of the doubt that in our current reality, it is heroes in whose lives the young aspirants can see themselves, who give the young permission to dream and form the best potential rail tracks on which their dreams can ride to reality. It is therefore categorically imperative to have such role models for young people to look up to, it is important that such heroes be also taught to young people in school, heroes whose path of rise strike a familiar chord of semblance to the place where the young person might be. Few things tell a more compelling and invigorating story than the life of one who looks like you and has been where you have been, yet overcoming the things you struggle with. Nevertheless I still dream and pray for a world which is color blind, where irrespective of the way we look, we will realize that it is the same things we seek, the same needs, the same desires, to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, to have a roof over our heads, to have bread on the table, to work, to have and belong to family, the one big human family.

© 2009 Afeseh Ngwa Hilary 08/11/09

The most important/perilous war known to man.

The most important/perilous war known to man.

Usually when I shower in the morning, thoughts, often on a particular theme come racing to my mind, thoughts typically but not always shaped by the events of the previous day. This morning I was thinking about wars and it struck me right between the eyes how the worst and most dangerous and important war known to man is neither fought in Irak nor in Afghanistan - it is a war fought in man… It is a war fought in little battles and at different battle fronts… it is a war as old as man… a war between good and evil… a war driven on the one hand by suicidal, fatalistic fleshy desires(desires which may be good in themselves but toxic when out of their intended/created purposes and kill slowly but surely) and on the other hand, spiritual desires to do right, righteousness… a war which pits a fiercely fighting flesh, seeking to secure its hedonistic desires and a lovingly fighting spirit seeking to ensure a life on earth and beyond… two soldiers of an uncommon kind, the flesh and the spirit… it is the soldier which gets the more nourishment and equipment which wins… and when the spirit has lost long enough, it dies and men, even though dead, continue to walk the surface of the earth… redemption for such is only found in the miraculous ‘kiss of life’/ resuscitation from above, from the Holy Spirit, from the Cross…

Oh how sin always LOOKS good… but the consequences are never good… pleasure apart from Christ never really satisfies, never, never ever, at best it is very ephemeral and that is the reason why the desire for it always leaves you longing for more, more , more, until a monster is fed which will consume itself… It is the most important war… it is war never fully won until we breathe our last… a war which echoes with a stentorian voice in eternity and determines where we spend it…

If pleasure drives you, the appetite is insatiable and you always crave from more, but if Christ drives you and you really have HIM, you have everything you will ever need in knowing HIM more and more and more…

May the unquenchable light from the Cross illumine your life for evermore…

With much love,
© 2009 Afeseh.

Disgrace in Human Race.
by: Afeseh Ngwa Hilary.


From life’s genesis to humanity’s apocalypse,
Man and nature have known a social eclipse,
It is no lie that the human story in a synopsis,
Is sowing seeds of evil and reaping nemesis,
Improvidence ripples through people’s deed,
Few people really care for somebody’s need,
Babies get jerked like a tooth that aches,
In abortive acts that should cause heart aches,
Innocent children know hell before they die,
They thoroughly learn a life of crime and lie,
Forlorn and sick through reckless abandon,
Spouses swap like the Hollywood Brandon,


Messiah’s have cajoled and preached in vain,
Human motive should not be a selfish gain,
Their words and deeds oracles and miracles,
With spiritual myopia we see in them debacles,
Clergymen pledge a life of purity and chastity,
Lead lives which are antithesis to sanctity,
They are only human,
Even when they are woe man,


Corruption of power is the power of corruption,
Misguided leaders steer and gear great tribulation,
Through heinous acts of commission and omission,
Presidents seem to make it a statement of mission,
Citizens victimized with the ravaging effects of wars,
Moral, physical, intellectual and psychological wars,


Humanity’s major job is the rape of the environment,
All this done in the name of material development,
Shrouded with ugly garments of underdevelopment,
As healthy nature is development’s main equipment,
With all rivers poisoned, all fish and plants harvested,
Then will we know that we cannot get money ingested,


Until this disgrace and the human race get a divorce,
Threat of sudden destruction compels change by force,
With a few swimming in a prodigious sea of luxury,
Unconnected to those in an airtight cage of penury,
The rocks will be melting and the sea will be boiling,
The atmosphere and the whole world will be whirling.

© 2009 afeseh ngwa hilary