Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Hows and whys that deepen the mystery and invite a confusing fog!



Why? and How? are both wings of the innovative shuttle that has been ridden by individuals and corporations to new horizons of concretized possibilities, to realities thought once upon a time to be only a pipe dream in the figment of the imagination. From the simple question why? how? the genius of innovation has been known countless times to have sprung to life and ideas which have forever changed the course of man have been pursued to reality on the wings of those 2 simple questions.

However I am almost sure to assert that there are also times when each and every one of us who cares to ponder the difficult questions of life, has been trapped face to face with and asking gargantuan WHYs? and HOWs?... each one of them pregnant with countless little whys? and hows? There are certain whys and hows which draw us in only to deepen the mystery around a given circumstance and cast an overhead fog of confusion. Those moments when you ponder that senseless loss of youthful life, cut short at its prime and wonder why? how did it all happen? Those moments when your hard work only seems to be rewarded in diminishing returns and you seem punished for your best efforts… those times when you try so hard and yet fail so bad… those moments when you are desperately looking for a child and have explored all avenues to no avail only to look around and find little boys and girls conceive from casual sex and abort the same babies you so direly seek and desire… those days when loneliness strikes its worst blow and it looks like that companion, husband or wife will never show up… those waits that look like an eternity… waiting for that dream job, for that scholarship, for that visa, for the business venture to pick up, for that loved one to be healed, for that forgiveness, for that joy, for that nameless breakthrough… those waits which feel like a whole eternity in bondage… those days when heaven appears non existent and God might as well have absconded or abdicated his throne… those days when your health suddenly begins to fail without any warning… you wonder why you are here? why you are chasing those dreams? why you are in love? why you feel so helpless? why your flesh is so weak when the mind is so willing? those days, and moments and circumstances which force you to ask why? why? why? how did it came about? How? how?... and every time you ask you are greeted with a resounding dark, grim, overpowering, and frightfully paralyzing silence which ushers in only more questions, more mystery, more confusion… Those moments that humble you and remind you that you are not in as much control as you have deluded yourself to think you are for no one, no one, I mean no one can say with certainty that tomorrow they will be here…so the million dollar question is why worry? why bother? the question is why?


Sometimes it makes all the difference in the world to toss the question on its head and add a little ‘not’ at the end of it… why not? How not? For me in those times I can only find the consolation to salve my sanity as I continue to probe in the reassurance that I have a God for whom it is more important to Him that I know Him more intimately in those times than any answers to any questions I might ask… sometimes it is enough to know that He is there, through it all.. Next time you ask why? also ask why not? Next time you ask how, also ask how not?

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

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