The NOs which made me grow!

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It was the first NO,
Then the second, third, fourth NO,
Successive loud resounding NOs,
So many I lost count of all the NOs,
They were not walls that made it impossible for me to grow,
They were nature's compass to re-calibrate me towards paths I didn't know,
I sank and sank and sank and dug deeper and deeper until I hit rock bottom low,
It was my only chance to ever hit those precious treasures buried very low,
When I let the failures go I could see where I needed to go,
Away from countless many foes,
Bringing a welcome fluidity to my flow,
Every once in a while there was an unwelcome snow,
Which made me go a little slow,
But no matter what I kept going so I always had some progress to show,
Through adversity I learned to deal better with all the curve balls nature's bound to throw,
Every once in a while I knew the exhilarating joy of rising like yeast laden dough,
And somehow on these redirected paths I met my beau,
In the heat of the moments I didn't know the NOs came to make me grow,
So focused on the disappointing pain I was not open to know,
Thankfully I found the grace to tell the distracting despair No,
Maybe this is your season of NOs,
And they make you very low,
Remember that sometimes to mine the precious gems we need to dig very low.

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Child of the ghetto!

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Child of the ghetto,

Deft with the stiletto,

Picking his humanity from the drains,

Bound by invisible heavy chains,

Drugs, rape, violence, gangsterism,

Target of a psychic militarism,

Tired of the stigma,

Mired in endless drama,

Determined not to be a victim,

He became broken,

Embraced the love which came with a pricey tagged token,

If he had never been broken,

He could not be mended,

For he had been too bended,

Evil easily blended,

He was drowning,

This is no clowning,

Drowning men don't save themselves,

An angel unexpectedly showed up,
In human mentoring form,

Holding the key,

To his brand new person,

He gave it to him in person,

It was no easy walk,

It was harder than cheap talk,

He engaged the new journey,

Obeying every engagement rule,

Tempted to be stubborn like a mule,

He hooked up to the those who know the path,

And began to learn science and math,

Like the butterfly from the caterpillar,

A gentleman emerges,

As the ghetto dies in him,

He is now headed for beyond the stars,

This can be your story,

But you must acknowledge the problem,

You are like a patient,

And wouldn't get help if you don't find a doctor,

The medicine might be terrible,

Depending on how bad you want your cure,

You will be ready to endure. 

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Hows and whys that deepen the mystery and invite a confusing fog!

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Why? and How? are both wings of the innovative shuttle that has been ridden by individuals and corporations to new horizons of concretized possibilities, to realities thought once upon a time to be only a pipe dream in the figment of the imagination. From the simple question why? how? the genius of innovation has been known countless times to have sprung to life and ideas which have forever changed the course of man have been pursued to reality on the wings of those 2 simple questions.

However I am almost sure to assert that there are also times when each and every one of us who cares to ponder the difficult questions of life, has been trapped face to face with and asking gargantuan WHYs? and HOWs?... each one of them pregnant with countless little whys? and hows? There are certain whys and hows which draw us in only to deepen the mystery around a given circumstance and cast an overhead fog of confusion. Those moments when you ponder that senseless loss of youthful life, cut short at its prime and wonder why? how did it all happen? Those moments when your hard work only seems to be rewarded in diminishing returns and you seem punished for your best efforts… those times when you try so hard and yet fail so bad… those moments when you are desperately looking for a child and have explored all avenues to no avail only to look around and find little boys and girls conceive from casual sex and abort the same babies you so direly seek and desire… those days when loneliness strikes its worst blow and it looks like that companion, husband or wife will never show up… those waits that look like an eternity… waiting for that dream job, for that scholarship, for that visa, for the business venture to pick up, for that loved one to be healed, for that forgiveness, for that joy, for that nameless breakthrough… those waits which feel like a whole eternity in bondage… those days when heaven appears non existent and God might as well have absconded or abdicated his throne… those days when your health suddenly begins to fail without any warning… you wonder why you are here? why you are chasing those dreams? why you are in love? why you feel so helpless? why your flesh is so weak when the mind is so willing? those days, and moments and circumstances which force you to ask why? why? why? how did it came about? How? how?... and every time you ask you are greeted with a resounding dark, grim, overpowering, and frightfully paralyzing silence which ushers in only more questions, more mystery, more confusion… Those moments that humble you and remind you that you are not in as much control as you have deluded yourself to think you are for no one, no one, I mean no one can say with certainty that tomorrow they will be here…so the million dollar question is why worry? why bother? the question is why?

Sometimes it makes all the difference in the world to toss the question on its head and add a little ‘not’ at the end of it… why not? How not? For me in those times I can only find the consolation to salve my sanity as I continue to probe in the reassurance that I have a God for whom it is more important to Him that I know Him more intimately in those times than any answers to any questions I might ask… sometimes it is enough to know that He is there, through it all.. Next time you ask why? also ask why not? Next time you ask how, also ask how not?

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Your love is true!

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I am not drunk with any emotional high,

My reason not clouded by raw unanchored feelings,

I am busy doing what I really love,

Yet I still manage to take a break from it to think of you,

You open your mouth to sing and the birds go hush to listen,

When you smile, 

Darkness hides and the moon retreats as an unworthy competitor,

You walk and all the cats protest in jealous rage at your grace,

A sweet smelling fragrance erupts from your fragile self,

Wafts like an attractive force around the globe,

From the perfect strivings of your imperfect self,

You love's shows up like the earth,

Through the seasons,

Through the bite and sting of winter cold,

And the scathing heat of summer days,

Through the beauty and nakedness of Fall,

Through the freshness and bloom of springtime,

Through countless repeated daily cycles,

Cycles of daylight when the sun shows up in brilliant splendor,

Retreats to hide its beauty and its warmth,

And night time takes over enveloping all with darkness,

Your love is truly ever present,

Through stormy days,

Through rainbow days,

Like the earth your love is always there,

... always there, always here and always there... 

In one form or the other,

Battered maybe, flickering maybe, struggling maybe,

Patched maybe, gasping for second wind maybe but always there,

Always here, Ever present...

Your love is true,
So true it makes me question the verity of mine,

And it is always a gift from you to me,

So strong it makes my best "thank you" the weakest phrase!

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

The Agonizing Pain and Hopeful Gaze of Mother Africa!

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Mama painfully agonizes over history and now,

Gazes into countless tomorrows with anticipatory hope,
Oh the pain of mama Africa,
The pain of a mother,
Who has gone through labor after labor,Birth pangs after birth pangs,Only to see all the children she suckled,
Suckled and nursed with undying motherly love,With scant exception turn into rogue states ,The pain of a mother seeing once brightly hopeful children turned awry,
All the pain in hell could not make up her sum,

But like a true African mother,
There is no quenching of her love,
No extinguishing of her hope,
No ceasing in her prayers,
And as the future beckons still,
She prays:
That these children will realize,
That they might have gone too far down the wrong road,
But the way back is still open and they can re-calibrate their tracks,
She prays, That the mighty God will set and direct their steps on the right path,
That they be endowed with a rare spirit of sacrifice,
And compassion and love for one another,
That they will not be imbued with that uncommon apathy,
That nonchalance in the apathy which plagues the land,
That they will be sewn together with an uncommon empathy,
That empathy which takes selfishness to task and suffocates its paralyzing grip,
She prays,
For the strength to strangle corruption, nepotism and all the viral isms,
She prays,
That a better tomorrow will soon come,
That all who call themselves sons and daughters of the soil,
Will assume responsibility to lead the changes,
And have a committed stake in the affairs that will bring the countries,
And the continent as a whole a little closer every day,
To the pill that will heal the bleeding on her aching heart,
To prosperity which will restore mama Africa's dislocated smile,

So until we take up and face these lofty challenges in one form or another,
In ways big and small, from near or from afar,
We can be sure to a right to only one thing:
As far as the continent’s woes are concerned - shut up,
For willingness alone will not do,Ability alone will not do,Procrastination will not do,
Just take them on in concrete actions,
One action at a time,
For one of mankind's purest joys is that of overcoming,
Through unfathomable odds!

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Fear of love as volatile morning dew on blades of grass

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Sometimes love’s like the morning dew on blades of grass,

Quickly disappearing under the rays of the rising sun,

So reach out to love where it may be found,

It may only come to you where you are down,

Reach out with love wherever you are found,

Someone down may need it to turn their life around,

Pray to not be afraid to love,

No doubt love carries with it a potent risk for hurt,

And the greater the love the greater the risk,

You desperately want to believe that love is a vaccine for hurt,

But truly love has no real value without that risk,

No value without that sacrificial price,

Something ethereally mysterious,

With power to conjure both rabid desire and paralyzing fear,

Like a potent cloud with answers to the promise of needed rain,

And the fear of destabilizing potential floods,

I know you want it even though you fear it,

For nobody can be happy without it,

Choke the fear and give love a chance,

For like Mother Theresa said,

When we love until it hurts,

There is no more hurt only love,

And if you ever did err,

Let it be on the side of love,

Never on the side of fear,

While it is okay to fear to love,

Never act out of the fear of love,

Yes love can be as volatile as liquid nitrogen,

Seize it before it is gone,

When you are confused and know not how to act,

Just love – long term you can never go wrong with love,

Not the love described with childlike facility in Hollywood,

But the love whose running currency is an intentional deliberate intelligent sacrifice.

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary

Stop the hypocrisy!

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If you put your hands over your nose at the stench of corruption,

Don't give a bribe and don't take one,

If you want to see the end of illiteracy,

And communally experience the buoying invigoration of emancipating education,

Send a child to school,

Take another under your wings and teach' em what you know,

If you hate the hunger in the world,

Feed a hungry mouth today,

If you hate the hatred in the world,

Love somebody and give them permission to do the same,

Let joy overflow from your heart to light up a needy, sad and gloomy world,

If you hate the frowning in the world,

Put a smile on a face today,

Wear it as your favorite make up,

If you hate the dirty streets,

Don't litter them yourself,

By the way please pick up that littered paper by your side.

To echo Mahatma be the change you want to see,

Do the things you want to see,

The littlest tiny drops of water still comprise the changing tides of the mightiest seas,

So stop the hypocrisy.

Brussels © October 2014 afesehngwaHilary